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August of 2008 my cancer counts started going up dramatically so Dr. Batson started me on Thalidomide, the primary treatment for Multiple Myeloma. After six weeks of taking a pill in the morning and a pill at night my creatinine counts were sky-rocketing. We had a ward temple night where I was organist for the opening song. People later said that I looked grey/yellow, not good. I didn't know it but my kidneys were failing.
The kidney specialist said I had 20 percent kidney function. I saw him on a Monday and by Thursday, September 18th, 2008 was admitted to the hospital with kidney failure. In six weeks the cancer lesions took the the opportunity of invading the kidney. They also made havoc on my spine. I ended up with 3 compression fractures which had a domino effect on the other vertebrae and toward the end of my 11 day hospital stay I had 5 compression fractures of the spine. I had to come to the reality that I had a BROKEN BACK!!

It was obvious that the Thalidomide did not work for me. I found out, after the fact, that the drug works in 60% of patients. It doesn't work in 40%. I was one of the 40%. In the hospital I started on a new drug, Velcade, which is given by infusion through an IV. I was also given a procedure called plasmapheresis. The plasma is taken out and returned with new blood. I had 3 of these procedures which, along with the Velcade, improved my kidney counts. I still had a broken back and was on narcotic pain killers which only dulled the pain instead of eliminating it.

I came home the 30th of September to a hospital bed in our downstairs guest room. The queen guest bed was right next to the hospital one. So Frank slept next to me in the regular bed while I slept in the hospital bed. I could only sleep on my back with the hospital bed elevated in the middle to take the stress off of my broken back. It took four long months for my back to heal.

After coming home I had 10 days of radiation which required me to get 3 small tatoos so they would know exactly where to radiate. Because I was on narcotic meds, I could not drive so sisters from the ward took turns driving to and from chemo and radiation. I felt so helpless.
Sisters came in the early morning to help me get up, fix breakfast, make sure I took all my meds, and helped me dress. Someone would come at lunch time to fix lunch. Dinners were brought in for about 1 month. I could not climb the stairs for a month because of my back, so I was marooned in my basement. A microwave was brought downstairs. I spent a lot of time reading and on the computer and on phone calls and visits from the sisters in our wonderful ward.

In December I had a minor operation to insert a port underneath my skin. The side-effects from the antibiotics caused a rash and throwing up. So that night I was a mess. Once we were able to contact an after-hours doctor, he was able to call in an anti-nausea medication. For the rash I just had to take benedryl and wait for a few days until it calmed down.

How do I feel about the whole cancer thing? I wish I didn't have a life with cancer. I wish that I could be cancer free. I know that I have learned a lot of patience along the way. Having cancer has given me so much more empathy to understand others sicknesses. Now I know why it has been my adversity, so I can help others. It still doesn't make it any easier when my cancer comes back..

April of 2010 my cancer counts had gone up so my Oncologist decided to start Chemo. They used the same Velcade they used in 2008. Infusions were Tuesdays and Fridays for two weeks and then a week off. The week off gives the healthy cells a rest. I just learned from an Oncology nurse that cancer cells, NEVER rest. That is why they can overcome the healthy cells which always have a resting phase.

My beginning counts were 761 and in 2008 they were 1560. I'm grateful that there is finally a drug that is effective against my cancer. I'm blessed that Multiple Myeloma is no longer a death sentence. Velcade has only been out since 2003 and the Oncologist says that my body has responded well in the past so he will use it again. In 2008 I was on chemo four months so I hope that this time it will be the same. Velcade is a state-of-the-art drug whose side-effects are very few. Constipation is a small side-effect, but I if take a stool softener that takes care of it. Twice a week I take 3 ml. of Velcade - cost $2400 a week. (paid for by insurance).

I didn't remember that insomnia is one of the side-effects. If I didn't take benedryl 2-3 hours before I went to bed I couldn't sleep. When we were out and about and I didn't have the benedryl ,I was doomed to be wide awake until 1 or 2 in the morning.

Here is a blog from one of those nights.

"INSOMNIA" (The inability to sleep no matter how tired you really are).

Chemo 4-5:30 - forgot I was supposed to check in 45 min early to do blood work and wait for results. So getting done at 5:30 made me late to pick up Frank.

They take blood pressure, oxygen levels, pulse rate and temperature. First is an infusion of Steroid, then anti-nausea and then chemo is a 3-5 second push with the syringe through my port. I brought a friend with me who asked if she could come the first time. She was all about asking questions which the nurse so graciously answered. The time flew by having someone with which to talk. The oncology nurse asked if I had anti-nausea prescription bottles at home. She instructed me to have a prescription called in tomorrow. She said the anti-nausea was given in the chemo so I should be alright. Nausea presents itself in 25 % of the patients. I have been lucky to have no nausea at all.
I had dinner, watched a movie, went to bed and said prayers with Frank.

Things that transpired after Frank went to "lullaby land:"

• Put tomato plants in the house that are spending daytime in the sun and night time in garage.
• While in garage clean up junk in garage for pickup tomorrow
• Find broken glass from a picture frame, deposit in trash can
• Find empty boxes and place in recycle bin
• Locate my family scrapbook and look through all the pictures. I'm so glad I did that scrapbook. It brought back so many terrific memories of events as the kids were growing up.
• Tally up food storage and note what items are most needed. I'm ordering powdered butter in a #10 can. It is equal to 6 lbs. of butter. You just reconstitute with water and a little vegetable oil. Robbin Foules is our canning specialist and she is always finding us bargains on-line.
• Realize that it is 12:15 am AND that I'm not the least bit tired!
• Realize that the steroids they gave me at 5 are sure working. Now I remember why I always requested chemo early in the day.
• Take 2 benedryl capsules, eat two cheese sticks, make hot chocolate, piece of whole wheat toast with honey; eat and drink it all!
• Get on computer. Change my background to purple irises. Change and enhance colors on different pictures with Photo Shop Elements.

NOT THE LEAST BIT TIRED! THIS IS GETTING ANNOYING. I'm going to have to borrow those Chad Daybell books from Gloria. Can't remember the name.
I remember in 1999 I read all the Work & the Glory books because I had insomnia.
We bought a bed on Craigs List and I'm excited to have an official guest bedroom again. We can pick it up this weekend. So maybe when I can't sleep I'll paint a random room and decorate my guest bedroom and dance in the shadows of the night til' night turns to light.

• Publishing Post, proofreading finding mistakes, going back in and correcting and then doing it all over again three times.
• I like being a night owl; I just don't like the morning time when I want to sleep.

D&C 19:20 I wonder if I have enough.

D&C 19:21 I wonder if there are any left for me.

D&C 19: 30 I wonder if asking is asking too much of Him.

D&C 19:32 I wonder; is Cancer a blessing? Do I thank him for that blessing in my life?

My prayers are being answered (or the benedryl is finally kicking in)

Time: 2 AM

Night awl.

Tuesday was a banner day. I went to visit the oncologist and he decided my counts were low enough to take me off chemo. Frank came with me to the appointment but had to leave to Tacoma for a Support Enforcement Convention. It's a once a year thing. He was gone Tues, Wed and back Thurs night.
Since Sunday I had been having pain in my right foot. I stepped into a Suburban for a ride to church and twisted my foot and felt extreme pain. I thought it would go away by the time I got to church, but had to limp around for the next 4 hours. (Choir practice was before church and choir was singing)
Sunday night Eric brought Adyson. She stayed the night and I spent the day on the couch with my right foot elevated and watched Disney movies. Her favorite is Alice in Wonderland. When the pain hadn't abated by Tuesday morning, I made an appointment to see my regular doctor at 4 pm, after I saw the Oncologist.

Ex-rays confirmed my 5th metatarsal bone in my foot was broken, not a hairline fracture, but broke. They fitted me with a boot and went to get crutches to fit, but had none. (Efficiency in that clinic, not) I promised I would pick some up the next day. Driving home with my left foot was an adventure. I think people thought I was a beginning driver because I punched the brake way too hard at first. I'm thinking as I drive home:

"How am I going to get into my house without crutches?"

I drove by 3 different homes in my neighborhood and no one was home. One house I could see movement inside so I honked the horn a few times, waited, and no one came out so I left.

Could you see me crawling to the front door?

That would have been a comedic sketch. On the way home a brother in our ward was OUTSIDE and I stopped the car and explained my situation. He followed me home and helped me hop inside through our garage.
I'm home and no husband coming home for two days. I called some friends who brought me dinner.They vacuumed and filled my water bottles. For those who know my house, I have a split level entry with living room on that level, stairs going up to the kitchen or down to the family room. I was fine for that night. Wednesday morning my friend came back and washed some dishes, made me a sandwich for lunch, and put her homemade chicken soup in a bowl in the microwave. Crawling up the stairs at lunch, eating the sandwich on the counter (I couldn't carry it anywhere), then at dinner heating up the soup, sitting in a chair and eating it at the oven. (Couldn't carry that anywhere either). Another friend dropped off perfectly fitting crutches and I proceeded to look on YouTube how to use crutches properly. I will have crutches for 3 weeks and in the boot for 3-4 more weeks. My birthday is November 3 so I think I'll still be stylin' wearing my boot on my b-day! Yippee! (Not)
My good friend had bunion surgery a few years ago and told me I needed to get a stool for the kitchen (to do minimal cooking) and for showering. She also has the same kind of floor plan as I do. After 3 - 4 days of crawling up and down stairs she said she had to buy knee pads. My friend Yolanda bought me knee pads which help a lot. She also brought a much needed remedy, Dove chocolate! I'm trying to look at this as another BIG bump in the road and staying positive about being off chemo. I'm beginning to think my life is one big adventure after another! I've had enough adventures thank you very much!
Three weeks later I returned to the doctor who referred me to a Orthopedic doctor. He said it was a stress fracture, probably caused from walking in old athletic shoes with no arch support. They casted it for 4 weeks. October 18th we were able to rent a scooter upon which to rest my cast foot. It has freed up my hands and I have a steering wheel on which to hang a purse. I use the scooter to attend church meetings. I love my scooter.
I get the cast removed November 12th, the day before my 60th birthday party! According to the doctor, he will put me back in the boot, still non-weight bearing.
I spend a lot of time on the internet, reading, listening to audio books, reading scriptures, scrapbooking and such. I can't do much of anything in the line of house work. I have managed to put a load of wash in and put it in the dryer. Getting it out of the dryer is someone else's job.
I keep pondering what it is that I must learn from this experience. These are the things I have come up with:

1. Gaining a closer relationship with my Heavenly Father through prayer.
2. Reading and studying scriptures.
3. Taking time to reflect on my life.
4. Letting other people grow from serving me.
5. Allowing Frank to be more independent in the kitchen.
6. Reading books I've wanted to read for awhile.
7. Realizing how much my husband really loves me.
8. Knowing how much my children love me.
9. Learning to be patient with myself and my body.